Affirmations for navigating the holidays
If you’re like me at all, you’re starting to get that all too familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach. While others are getting excited, shopping, and decorating for upcoming holidays—and yes, I do those things too—I also start to feel anxious about the gatherings. I’m anxious about seeing people I haven’t seen in a while.
Will they notice I gained weight?
Will they ask if I lost weight?
Will they look at my plate and judge me?
Will they look at me and judge me based on what they see?
In the past, these kind of questions would start the patterns of disordered eating, body dysmorphia, and anxiety around food, social gatherings, and people’s perception of me. And in my opinion, there’s a lot more going on behind these thoughts.
There’s a deeper question that really comes down to the fact that I struggle with finding my value and worth in the way people view me. Yes, I have walked through an eating disorder, so there’s an aspect of this that is deeply embedded into my neurological pathways—but I would argue that there’s another part that developed over time through my experiences.
I was used to starving myself before a big meal on Thanksgiving or Christmas. We would eat around 3 in the afternoon and everyone was busy cooking and “holding off” on eating in anticipation for the upcoming meal. I thought this was normal behavior because it was normalized in the culture around me. Food in my family was always earned or emotionally driven, which I have found to be very common for others as well. Holidays seemed to become a time to “show off” new clothes, weight loss, and other outward things, and it was a free-for-all for comments on each other’s bodies.
If I had a “good” year, I would wear something tight that really showed how much work I had done that year—and people would notice…and they would comment. If it had been a “bad” year, I would wear baggy clothes and do my best to avoid the usual commenters—just stick to the few safe people. But no matter what, I always felt the need to give a response—to excuse this kind of behavior. And to be completely honest, I participated in it too.
But after a few years of therapy, I’ve come to know that these are not burdens that I am responsible to carry—that the social “norms” around these gatherings don’t have to effect me the same way they used to. And just because others may choose to cross boundaries or act in unhealthy patterns does not mean I have to.
So, I’ve compiled a few reminders as we step into the next season that can hopefully provide some help to you like minded friends. My hope is not only that you can bypass some of these experiences, but that you can enjoy the holidays with friends, family, and lots of yummy & delicious food:)
So here’s my affirmations for you to remember as you walk through the holiday season:
You don’t have to earn enjoyable traditional, and special dishes that come around this time of year. they can just be fun. No punishment or guilt afterward is necessary.
It’s okay be the one with food allergies. And when people don’t believe your allergies are real—or worth eliminating foods for—remember you’re doing what’s best for your own body. (I believe you:)
It’s okay to be a picky eater.
While others might comment on how much food they’ve eaten, or how much they’re going to have to workout to “work it off”— you know better. Smile. enjoy your plate. And remember that those comments are a projection of someone else’s battle—not your’s.
If someone who you haven’t seen in a while comments on your body, you have the right to tell them you’re not comfortable talking about that. Understand that while their intentions might be harmless, it’s okay to express your own boundaries that help you in recovery.
Listening to your body shouldn’t stop for the holidays. Just because society has normalized binging, starving yourself for one big meal, and feeling miserable after eating—doesn’t mean you have to.
Your recovery journey matters.
I’m wishing you all the best time over the holidays & know that you are not alone. There is so much power in remembering that you have people to talk to—and I am here for you. And I hope each of you has at least one safe person to lean on during these moments coming up—and if you don’t, please reach out for help.
Happy Holidays,
Hannah❤️